My Journey to Great Awakening

 Please click the link for the "pages post" where I usually published long story.

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https://carmnescence.blogspot.com/p/my-journey-to-great-awakening.html

My Charity Experience

My Charity EXPERIENCE 

INSURANCE is better than CHARITY. The less money you have the less priority you are.

I was suffering from Joint pain that lasted for several months already. With flu and rashes for 5 days. So, I thought it was DENGUE, got my results and it was okay. But, my joint pain didn't go away for 3 weeks and so, I thought it's just sprain from my everyday zumba and marathon at home.

Sta. Teresita General Hospital

I did not even know PHILIPPINE ORTHOPEDIC CENTER is a government managed hospital, or better to tell a public hospital. All I knew it was the best place for ORTHO (BONES) which I was having problem with my bones, maybe, my scoliosis thing is connected.

Knees

To make the story short I wasted another week of waiting due to the Compete Blood Chemistry Test for Php2,000++ cost and XRAY request from my sport doctor from ADULT CLINIC. Take note, I haven't medicated yet, no RX was given. This is my first check-up and the doctor can't even help me for he does not have any records to rely to.

And so, another appointment came, got my records now, another doctor for OPD consulted me for 3 hours in line ...AGAIN for it was for free consultation. Before ending here in charity line, we were looking for my mother's old doctor, but he was not around, so we came. He saw my records and everything was not even serious except for the ESR was too high due to my joint pain. He recommended me to specialty doctor and that is the RHEUMATOLOGIST.

We came and hurriedly asking for the doctor but she was not around. The assigned nurse told us she left early, because, there's no patient to be waited. She prioritize her paid consultation to other clinic instead here. Though, it was extremely accepted. I don't have a choice for we came to this charity appointments.
Yup, we need to wait 4 more days for our Rheuma Doctor.
So, I was not medicated yet .. again!

And FINALLY, after 2 weeks of waiting. I was able to meet my RHEUMATOLOGIST, Dra. Gonzales. She diagnosed me of SLE, Lupus or auto immune disease. She gave everything I have to do, Oh, I mean I have to pay for. She told me that she would like to be cleared, so that she won't be missing anything.

Appoinement Card

 Let me check, from 3 HOSPITALS, I had XRAY, 3 CBC, Emergency CHECK UP at Capitol Medical Center, Another consultation fee in Sta. Theresita General Hospital, Multiple CBC Test, Compete Blood Chemistry Test for Php2,000++ cost and ANOTHER blood test for ESR and some.
Ouch! money goes AND I have not medicated yet ... again!

Of course, She gave RX that did not even help me and so, another appoinmentS" came. Take note I'm still in observation and monitoring. Still the same, came and check-up, another RX, but, this time I have to do the ULTRASOUND and ANA test. I'm so running out of money my true illness has not even found yet.

This is the most like WTF moment of my life.

I booked my appointment for less cost Ultrasound and reserve my slot it took 2 weeks for my time. And so the day came, I was with several practitioner doctors assisted me inside.While doing their job, the specialist or the older doctor was one doing the navigation. The other student doctor was at the side studying the process. Yup, they are studying me!

Like omg!, there's a lot of patients needed to be examined and it took me several minutes for the process because, I was your subject. I was hearing like, "You guys need to know your anatomy." ... "Okay, what part of muscle is this..?" Lol.

My father told me to look for other clinic like the usual expensive Php 500-700 per consultation and I refused. No offense, since internet has the power to voice it out. A lot of poor families suffered in "OTHER" public hospital due to student doctors are handling patients. Better to my experience, so far, Dr. Custodio one of the doctor of my Mother in Orthopedic, was the best in history making patients relieved without spending much. 

So, after 1 week. They want me back to get my results. GUESS WHAT! I waited for 2 hours at least, Like look, I have an appointment and I already paid this ULTRASOUND in 2 counters, why have not you interpreted it for a week before I came. SERIOUSLY!

Ultrasound Result Preview

I got little nervous. I was afraid that maybe my doctor will not stay, because, I am late. And so I decided, if she was not around, I will never come back.

It was a good story to add up here in my blog. And yeah, I ran when I got it. Luckily, she was chatting with the assign nurse and I was the late patient to be waited for, I had an appointed with her so, she should be. 

And she told me everything that I was clear. I am good. I am negative in Lupus and in any auto immune diseases. But, my severe joint pain is messing my ordinary day of living. It felt like not a normal person.

Then again, after all those examinations and medications expenses, It doesn't ease the pain. It is still painful since day one of me feverish rashes. So at the final judgement, she said it was probably CHIKUGUNYA, a virus from mosquito, but was not threatening like Dengue.

SO, YEAH it is CHIKUGUNYA, WHY?
My 2 brothers caught fever and rashes too while I'm having flu. She was right when she suspected me on the first consultation.

I made a lot of research about this. The fever and rashes will go for a week but, the virus residue will remain and hide inside the joints and it would take several months to years of sorrow. I was so hopeless. I paid so much and I have not yet medicated for good. She gave "another" medicine.

It was a long name and I forgot what it is. But this was my final visit.
She told me that she wanted to see me again, because, I'm still in monitoring stage. Well I am not suspecting that she's a student doctor. She's already a specialist and so...

I decided to quit. I lose a great amount of money. I don't know what to do. She advised me of taking that medicine for a month and go back with her. I just decided not.

My body was heavy medicated to any pain relievers I am drunk for. I am so done. I don't want it anymore. What would ever happened again if the medicine won't work?
Another medicine? Another money wasted?

...

I know some people had worst experience than mine. But this was a memorable learnings I have gone through. Some story I did not include. It was a journey that you don't want to ignore. Joint pain is not a joke symptoms but mine was so unfair.

I even remember that there was an old lady missed her previous appointment and came. She was not entertained and was told to go back to the next appointment. The doctor was really prioritizing her paid patients on other clinics. Then again, it was accepted.

You know what! GOD is GOOD. The NATURE and PURPOSE is really good.
Like seriously hear this one out, it knew that I don't have a good job for now, I don't even get paid much with my business, because, I'm still learning for it. Just like what I said, I don't even know that there's a free consultation in this said hospital. So, purposely happened.

Back in my beloved office, Unified Products & Services is a franchising company serves for Wellness products and Ecash pay center. One of my co-dealers told me that she just used FISH OIL and it healed her for 2 weeks. I have one bottle of fish oil from FREEBIES of franchise I made.

From THOUSANDS of peso, I healed from one 
FREE BOTTLE.
ha...haha.........ha!


I know I have to do it just to make sure I'm clear with this serious illnesses.
But yeah, life is unfair and not perfect, better learn from experience and be prepared for what's coming next.


To cut it short, because, it came too long, here some things I realized.

1. Laboratory examinations are just basis of your conditions. They will keep on asking to do more, because, they cannot rely on your current situations. They want updates and they won't stop if you feel pain. IT IS BUSINESS ... you need insurance for that.
2. It is right not to ignore simple symptoms. It could be a sign of a serious illness and you need insurance for that or less you'll be drained so bad.
3. Our body has its own natural healing process. Do not rely much to these synthetic drugs they have given you. You may try wellness or natural remedy instead.
4. I know we should not bypassing our doctors knowledge over a Google research but, I made my decision on cutting my expenses through researching. I just found out that CHIKUGUNYA is a simple illness, so I trust everything I knew, on how to heal myself.
5. Another healing powers is our mindset. It does help me more than I could ever imagine. I keep on thinking, praying, saying and imagining that I AM STRONG, I AM POWERFUL and I AM HEALED. and it bloody worked!
6. The more medicine you are taking, the more harmful it will do to your liver.
7. Life is so unfair. It is not perfect. Better to prepare for unforeseen circumstances like an accident, emergencies and any other MONEY INVOLVE problems.
8. INSURANCE is better than CHARITY. The less money you have the less priority you are.
9. LASTLY,.... you will declare to yourself that you'll end your life being poor once you landed and plead help on a public hospital. A lot of poor Filipinos dying in the emergency room, because of their status. Don't ever let your love ones die in their hands. Fight poverty and think about the future of your family.

PS. I am not against to this hospital. I am even more grateful for less fortunate people. I am not even against with my doctor. She gave me a lot and help for what I need. It's just hurtful to accept that it is their profession, job and it is purely business. Hospital and laboratories and the dark side of pharmaceutical companies business purpose, so it is better to try healing yourself in less harmful and less expensive way. Sorry, I did not came, that I think I should have, there's a reason why you need to come back, not for money but it is for health purposes.Thank you Philippine Orthopedic Center and specially, to Doctora.

Check my facebook page for Wellness Product:
@thehouseofcarmina
Arctic C for only Php 750.00
Business Youtube Channel: Unified Carmina Fernandez

National Museum of the Philippines

 

Have you been to our National Museum?

Well, don't worry guys! It is now free and it was implemented for the public. Besides, it's from the national budget paid by the taxpayers, well of course, not the exhibited arts. 

Before they let you inside you need to log your name and surrender you bag.

You have to listen on what strict rules they have it here. Like, not touching the arts. Ohh well! Seriously I did not touch my full hand here, because, guards are everywhere checking on everything we do.

Like I said, I did not touch it.
Some of the rules I remembered like, not posting with a "Wacky face".
Not capturing with flash on!
No food & drinks.

 

 This is a simple photos I got. You don't even want to waste your time making the best DP or for your Instagram here because you are here to contemplate the arts.

I had my best time on staring my favorite paintings.

...
It's kinda bit boring here, right? I have no stories to tell or less photo to show?

I think this is much of it. Just gave a little idea what's inside and it will be folly if I upload every photos I got. You have to get in there to witness the beauty.

Visit it, it has more value to tell than by researching the arts on google images or on someone else's blog.

There are lot of much bigger paintings and sculptures to see like the Famous "Spoliarium" of Juan Luna.

We visited 2 museum and you just have to cross another streets.

There you will find the "Artifacts" and real "Mummies". 

Give your time just once, it's free!

Important reminders:

• Please be very serious in a very formal place like this. 
• Try to avoid nonsense and uneducated behavior to get less in a trouble. 
• Follow strict rules and try to avoid being noisy for some people came to visit for knowledge.
• Please be advised that this is not a park to be freely enjoy on what you see.
• This is not a photo studio, Try not to disturb visitors with your photo shooting moments.

P.S. for Philippine Government, under strict law of not commercializing the arts from the Museum. Made this blog for fair use in terms of promoting tourism, history and for education.

Let's talk about love. ♥

So, how is your heart today?

Yup, I'm talking about today not just on Valentines day. Do you still hope? Have you found your lucky one? or maybe, just gave up and let the time waste on doing what you love?

It doesn't matter how was yours doing as long as your taking good care of yourself. Your doing what you love, you know when to quit when it's not worth it and you know how to respect people. These 3 thoughts so far have taught me this month.

Let me share you my short story. ...

Freedom Wall

These pictures was my last day at work. I gained and lost people during my stay. But left me, I guess, the most valuable lesson I've ever learned.

Lesson 1: Why bad things keep on repeating? Because you NEVER learn.

Lesson 2: How can we be happy? Know what's right & wrong.

Lesson 3: How to gain respect? You start from yourself.

I know these are simple thoughts, but these made me realize completely how are we able to rule this unfair life that we keep on surviving. 

Let's avoid the situation might give us another trial for us to FINALLY learn, what's good or best for us. Read the signs, don't be blind. Being a martyr is old. We're living in a modern world where everything seems to go faster and gone quicker. So,

STOP WASTING TIME! 

Dessert Buffet

Simple celebration in our office. Isn't that cute? Didn't have a chance to get one. And we also have a simple celebration as we treated it our farewell get together.

Starbucks Reusable Cup

Before we meet up and had our last goodbyes. I've collected 5 promo coupons in just 1 week of my February and claimed my gift. Just a simple treat this Valentines Day for loving myself. 

It's actually simple pizza pool party. Though, it's not even a party. Just so you know, It took only an hour because other had plans already. It is better to had one last bond with your colleagues, no matter how simple it is, because there is no guarantee that you will ever see each other again. Make a one last good memory.

It was a hot love day. 💓 Perfect for this moment.

Well that's my one week of love, how about yours? And before anything else, I'd really, really! want to say so much about it but rather to keep it short & simple. 

Our life is so short. We have given a limited time to live. Better start learning from mistakes and try fixing your life. If not, when will you end wasting your time on someone or something that's keep shitting your life?

Talk to yourself! WHEN WILL YOU START using your brain? 💡

me? ... I just did.

A forgotten place that will never be forgotten.

Would you rather run away from your fears or would you rather face and fight for it?

        A sudden of unfortunate times that we encountered in our waking life. Most of the people had experienced hopeless times such as broken hearts, lost direction and many unpleasant realities throughout this imperfect world for our existence may never be perfect as what we planned. Is it really have to end and leave it behind? Majority of the people had done it when they had a new chance in life. Yet, there are people who never got out of it and it still haunts them.

        Life is a continuous learning process.You may never learned about the bad things had happened to you. For the crucial reason, we may have to go back to fix it, to learn for more or maybe to end it completely. Because, you may need to learn harder. So, I did. Those occurrences that what come up against us has a profound meaning that we may be needed to face it  for one more time, for our destiny.

        On the whole of it, It is the only way to end those fears that has bothered us for a long time. Every obnoxious happenings has a positive view that we could have acquired a valuable lessons at our disposal. Apparently, the only outcome of it, is freedom, that is what we always aim for, and I believe everything happens for a reason. 👑

Adult Coloring (Art Therapy)

Remember the old times that we used to draw, paint or even color images for fun? Well, guess what, we can still do it now, not just for fun but to "improve our health".

First try of Mandalas

There is a lot of benefits and study in this year about the famous art theraphy through Doodling or making Mandalas. It is a trend not just for a simple hobby, but Psychologist claim it that is has a healing power.

Zendoodle

Doodle

Mandala

Big Images

I'm suffering on PTSD, anxiety, depression and stress and it helps. It also trains my brain to focus better. It is actually relaxing.

My main point of adult coloring is to change the negative thinkers into positive way by visioning colorful arts made by 

the patients. 

Any form of coloring will do. You can buy a book or just print it out. You can even look for old books and make your own art for a cheaper deal. I suggest to look for Mandalas or Zendoodle for advance level. 

The shadow game

Randomly sharing a simple story I made. 😆😍

There is one place somewhere in the Philippines, I presume. Forest, river, and an open space. An open space with ruined building that serves as the main location of the situation. At the time I remembered, I don't know how we got in there. All I know, we are a group of friends with couples, I don't even remember who they are, all I know is they're Caucasians. It started on a night of camping inside the forest with my so called friends.

All of us wearing a dark color puffer coat. Roaming, fooling, and hunting for nothing. Until one moment, something or someone is fooling us. Lost, exhausted, confused and terrified. Looking for answers,"Are we alone?" I was the silent one, trying to figure out the situation. Couples are hugging. Singles are shocked. Killers are unknown. We didn't even know what is going on. Until it came, it was a Caucasian killers. Forcing, commanding, and assaulting while us, screaming, crying, begging and Me, just shock and quiet. STIFF.

Have we just woke up or they just gave us a vision of this situation? It was a dark huge hallway. It felt like we're inside of a horror house full of good props not from scrap materials. Black curtain, shadow light, and people? Like seriously, there are people, guiding, a tour guide. There are voices, a lots of Caucasian people. Caucasian tour guide, Caucasian voice speaker with Caucasian captive friends. We are still prisoners but I guess, we are players for a Jigsaw puzzle. Pawn for fun. I get it, we do get it. That's why everybody is so alert on what is happening. We don't want to die. We want to win. We just want to save ourselves, escape on our own. Sweating intensely and thirst for rescue but we're still alive. Laughing seriously and hunger for fun but killers have not yet enough. On each every obstacle, someone might die, all of us might live. But, someone did die and we have to proceed and cry. And the next obstacle, we have to get each one a bicycle, we have to ride on it while continuing the game on a hallway. It was a place of the outside building. A scary abandoned side forest. Thankfully, we just came back to the dark hallway again. But this time, there's one situation that is very unusual happened to them. To us, it's weird, each every weird situation is an answer. A technical problem, a break time and a savior. We saw people working behind the curtains. Working like a stage people like theater actors and yes, they're Caucasians. It feels like we're the audience, at the same time we're the players. Just like PC gamers, only it was live. Everybody stopped, just like a director's says cut. People fix their mechanics that they're operating. This was the situation that they are scaring us through a shadow dancing. They were explaining a prophecy that might happen if we didn't do it properly. A supernatural prophecy rather. There is one black guy, an African-American I suspected. The way he speaks and dress. His accent define him that he came from a foreign land, not in his origin. He lead us to the next obstacle. He said that we have to skip this because they have to fix it first. That is the first time, we saw a light after that night. Not coming from the huge spotlight but coming from the huge window. We heard the river flows, the howls of the windy forest and a hope that I might survive. Me, thought of only surviving. The only objective that we know from a Jigsaw puzzle is just to survive by yourself. So, we hurriedly, went to the next hallway down to the left side. The African-American guy burst into anger when he saw one of my guy friend, who is blonde, dragging the bicycle instead of riding on it. I don't know if he still alive because of a mistake could end their lives and it does, I never saw him again.

A major tragedy that shut down the entire establishment. Everything is extremely dark. 0% light, 0% vision, 0% hope but 100% pain I felt on every step I ran, I bumped, I touched and I fell, just to escape. Just woke up, without a good picture of me but a bad picture of myself in an abandoned room. Old spacey stockroom. I don't even know how long I was sleeping. All I know, I am safe near in escaping this dark hole we fell. I don't know where is everybody, I don't know where are my foreign friends. I do hope them a good luck in life. All I know is just by myself, trying to live. I am stock in this room for more than 2 weeks and yes, I haven't eaten anything. Just looking through a window with a view of a forest and a construction site beneath. It was a yellowish ground with a calm flow of a small river. I don't know which side of this establishment is the larger body of the river for what we heard a good flow of a water. I don't want to go outside, I can't get a glimpse of me escaping. All I know is I'm hearing voices. People working and talking about their duties and processes. They just keep on ignoring this room. Like what I said, it was an old abandoned stock room with fewer things, just like an attic, wooden spacey room. I can't get any answers from all things I saw, but I saw someone, my mother. I was so shocked. A lot of people coming in. I can't think of anything just to stop them from going but I presume, the moment they reach the abut of this extremely large property, they are dead. My mother was so happy and giggling with her friends and there this Caucasian tour guides, guiding. They thought it was an amusement park. It seems that, she hasn't even known I was missing for so long. I was waving just to give them a warning, but I think all of us would be dead if they saw me. I was on high top just like Rapunzel, waiting for nothing. That is the last time I saw my mother.

I got out the room. I don't know when, I don't know how and I don't even know what I am doing right now. I was still in shock. Sitting for so long. People are looking at me. The Caucasian workers were accompanying me. Some of them working, commanding, killing, and some of them are ... Filipinos. All of the Filipinos, I think were their slaves. They didn't even recognize me that I was a pure Filipino or they just don't care. I thought of a second, I was with them working. They instruct me of my duties and yes, I am doing it professionally. We even visited the slave's village to set rules. A small wooden home came from scrap garbage. I think I gained their trust. I talked to a different nationalities of people around living in this world. Filipinos are begging in the process that they can't longer be followed. They tired of acting to scare new people. A lot of people died, vanished and suffered. You just have to follow them in order to live normal like you are not going to die. I was just an associate. I only follow rules and give order but I don't hurt or punish people. I saw them suffering through the hard pain they are receiving. When I spend my free time, I was like walking freely in their world. I walked in and out of the establishment. I even visited the forest, often. Still, I don't have any answers that to end my curiosity. I'm afraid to ask. A moment later while wandering I saw this survivor. I think one of the captives has just about to escape. Before leaving, he looked at me. He thought I was going to kill him but no, I helped him in escaping. I just knew that I was an undercover agent helping captives. All I know is killing is a crime so, I had to do the right way. But still it confuses me on each time a new situation is coming. No answer is coming in. I made an analysis, though. I think that they drugged me, that drug didn't take effect and still was consciously knowing everything from the start of this shitty hole we got into. I never ask and I never saw my people again.

Each time goes by, I'm still working with them but I've never killed somebody ever. I was with them laughing, celebrating and making friends. For a long time, I forgot what am I fighting for. Another situation happened. It gave me a wake up call. I thought the game was over but my fellow workers just shouted "the winner is disobeying". She was an Indian, I guess. She was wearing a very simple and lavender of "Salmar Kameez" with hijab. Once again, I don't know why. She was saying something, I guess she was giving a voice from a slave about having a little right. And she did not last, she was killed by a leader. A leader that could be the one in-charge in this chaos. He just looked like Corey Stoll, an American Actor in waking life. He killed her at her back with a magnum shot. She fell on a cliff, a cliff looking like a staired rice terraces. Her body fell down hardly. Just like an American movie, their reaction and acting was too cool. And me, just silent. But once again, another victim of death, was about to escape. She was a poor looking native average girl. She was caught in the act of escaping. Before the workers attempted to shoot her, she jumped and took a suicide. And again, her body fell harshly on a cliff looking like staired rice terraces. I saw her reaction. Before she took her jump, she made a dramatic farewell. She looked at us, hopeless but determined that she is ready to die. What a fierce delivery. Finally, I knew I was getting close on a higher people who is running this hell. This is the first time I saw that bald and huge built Caucasian. I saw him command, kill, and instruct to his workers. That is the place where I saw a laboratory through a green glass that I include it on my analysis. On a second thought, it was a huge experimentation on something but still unknown motives. I can really feel that I was part of them. Especially, this doctor looking Gordon Freeman but looking fat Mexican who I guess, likes me. He keeps on checking on me. BUT the most weirdest of all things happened. I just flirted the leader. In my old life before this, I really do like Caucasians. I have a lot of crushes to an American actor and few British. Subconsciously, telling me, I really like them. Our eyes had met when I began to flirt him. We are currently in a watch tower control room looking and working with the Boss or so called the leader. That's the time we looked at each other. I stood up and touched his chest while seductively, walking away. That's how I got his full attention. I felt I was Megan Fox but was visioning my face. Quickly, we did the deed but before that happened. I was able to check his little place. It is not that fancy for a leader's territory. A narrow like condo unit style flat but make it uglier. I saw people inside, a Filipino slave as his maid. She was an old woman. Fixing and commanding her before she left us alone. I think he likes me. He was nice, though. Of course, he was about to go down. Although, we are excited about it. Before entering his small room, I saw my FATHER!. Yes, he is.  Was my father part of this mess? What could be the meaning of all this bizarre condition that bothers me every time? Why is it my own family was here? Did the drug was so damn high? Is it?... I saw him about to sleep and rest in the other room. I told him that I was not comfortable doing it because the wall is so thin. It feels like it's just a plywood and I told him, I am too loud. Yes, I want to express the feeling but still we did it. I think I just did that in order for me to know more a lot of his motives and everything. He was hurriedly fixing and preparing while on towel. Yeah, I saw it and he was really a white huge man. They let us play in their game of shadow and now, I'm hiding through their shadow. Let the real game begin.

To be continue ...

P.S. Just want to share a random post due to limited shared pages for this blog.