Doing right by my dog.

 

<Sigh> How many times have I written about them, and how many times have I turned it down. I know—not every ugly thing that happened to you must be published. Could it be part of my experience, as what journalling is all about? But must it be private? Or is it just the typical me who loves to share happenings in my life? But for now, I need some advice. The blame was on me. They were all pointing at me. Here’s the story:

A five-time unpleasant thing happened to me that I was to be blamed for. I was the submissive. Anything for the dogs—I was so down for it. Am I that naive or embarrassed that I shouldn’t own a dog in the first place if money was the problem? Yes, you heard it right. Most of our complaints and issues were about money after all.

At the first incident, Molly, the German Shepherd, was having water retention. My father, who was the original owner of our GSD, summoned me to take Molly to a vet. I’ll make a brief summary of every incident; I don’t want to make it long and dramatic.

Inside, the vet was convenient—no queue and air-conditioned. We were assisted fast and nicely. Okay, now listen. I am not against any doctors, but we were unfortunate with this one.

The attending doctor was consulting a senior doctor in their clinic. That doctor on the phone was Molly’s original doctor, PVC (Primary Care Vet), who attended her before. I know nobody’s perfect, especially when they’re in practice—probably a fresh graduate or recently licensed.

The doctor couldn’t determine what made her bloated. Could it be blood? Urine? Food? Or just water? The doctor failed to grab a sample from the paracentesis process. So I was so stupid and didn’t know how to talk well (bad side of awkward-weird-introverted me).

The doctor successfully convinced me to get an X-ray. The doctor analyzed that it was all water and then billed me for 4k or 3k, I guess. (I do not want to upload any pictures, even the receipts, for documentation or proof to avoid defamation. I just want to tell a story.)

I didn’t have enough money for such a hefty amount. I called my father, and he scolded me and frustrated with the entire situation. He withdrew money from a nearby ATM and asked for a discount because he was the owner and a senior. He successfully convinced them, and the doctor overrode the receipt. We were like, “They can price the process?” I don’t know, readers—please do tell me.

After a few weeks, it was quite upsetting to know that it really was just water because Molly’s PCV doctor did the paracentesis successfully. Just for an X-ray, we had reached that painful amount without yet her medication.

For Molly’s next visit, it was still pricey; it reached 4k due to medicines and a CBC that indicated high SGPT (liver). My father asked for a discount again, but it wasn’t granted this time because the long and fatiguing process of paracentesis was already free of charge. I don’t know with them; they used a small injection to suck the water out.

Courtesy of photo from this website. Vetoxhealthcare com

The second incident was at the same visit as the third. I happily messaged them about returning a box of Doxycycline. They had excessively given it out based on how many times Molly should take it.

Together with the third incident, both Molly and Mickey were there for the anti-rabies vaccine. Molly is turning one in a few months, but she wasn’t vaccinated for the first time. Mickey was for his booster. We were there for free—a gift for Christmas.

Her PCV doctor suggested on our attending doctor for taking the 8-in-1 shot, which could prevent Molly from leptospirosis, especially since we live in Metro Manila. So I said yes again and was convinced it was actually good, knowing GSD dogs are mouthful—they will put anything into their mouths. After that, we were asked to go back the next week for her anti-rabies shot.

Wait for the third incident—when we went home, just wait.

While in the waiting room, the doctor computed the amount of medicine we got a few months ago against what was written on an old receipt—they wronged me. Instead of being a good Samaritan for returning excessive medication, the tables were turned against me for having a debt with them. AKO PA ANG NAGKA-UTANG, T*NGIN*. XD

I was there for a free anti-rabies vaccine, and now I paid for the 8-in-1 vaccine and paid the debt they suddenly came up with. 

How was the calculation? The prescription was for 60 tablets. The computation should have been ₱25 per tablet, but the doctor misread the box as 10 tablets per box, so I thought of having 3 boxes for first 30 tablets, but were 90 tablets in total. Now, I've completed this prescription of 60 tablets for 2 boxes (so no need to buy more) and suprised to a one box left as unused. Instead of receiving money back, it turned out to be so expensive per tablet. 

Our first receipt written for 3 boxes was ₱750 (₱25X30=₱750), which they gave me initially. Now, when I returned one box, it turns out 60 tablets for 2 boxes that cost ₱1,500. You see, I was short ₱750 months ago. What if I hadn’t brought my wallet for the sudden debt and the additional 8-in-1 vaccine? From my perspective, it’s not my fault, and I had the right not to pay it because it was already written and signed by them. I agree with my father. This bill reached to almost ₱6K.

And now, when we went home, here’s the BLAMEEEE. I was wrong again. They insulted me for being manipulated, naive, stupid, weak... "mahina". Okay!?

The third incident was the vaccine. Yes, the explanation here is that they are doctors—they should’ve known that a rabies vaccine is more pivotal as a priority than any other vaccine. The logic here is: what if Molly suddenly encountered a rabid creature—probably a cat—which can jump from wall to wall or from our gate and on the way home? It can’t wait another seven days for her shot. She could possibly die.

My father said, “Para lang may benta ngayon.” He even fumed badly when he found out about the Doxycycline incident. He insisted that they should not have made me pay for the lacking amount the doctor demanded.

You know why? IT WAS ON A RECEIPT FROM A FEW MONTHS AGO. Then I suddenly realized he was right. It’s not my fault that the doctor made a mistake in giving out the medication and on our receipt. It was already written. It was filed in the monthly reports. It had doctor's signature before it was handed over to me—a certified document, true and irreversible. (Sigh.) All of my opinions will be in the last paragraphs.

For the fourth and fifth time, hoping that it would be the last, I was planning to take Molly to a vet due to her diarrhea—her tummy issue again. I came first and talked to the attendant who assists dogs while the doctors do their work. I told him that we would be there later when there was no queue. He agreed with me and said, it would be less inconvenient for us.

So around 11 or 12 a.m., my brother took Molly out and went back so quickly with frustration. He told me that there was an additional 600 pesos emergency-time fee—and it was their graveyard shift. He also told me that they were given an exact price without even initiating the consultation. He fumed out his frustration.

So I tried to get some sleep, and I even ignored everything—ignoring him, even Molly’s concerning behavior. I was told by the price and suddenly convinced by my father and myself to go out and bring her. Same situation: I was given a price—600 for emergency time, 1,500 for CBC, and 1,000 for GIA.

I surrendered to the price, but I told the doctor, “Wala pa tayong magagawa diyan?” I was referring to her CBC results. I wasn’t clearly sure what I said before, but the doctor said there was. I almost agreed to the GIA, which would cost an additional 1k for nothing, and thank God he didn’t insist on having this test done for Molly.

Thank God there is available internet nowadays—you know why? GIA-positive is viral, and if Molly has it, Mickey could have it as well. Researched by my brother. 

While waiting for the medicines and the receipt, her doctor came down after surgery. It suspected other diseases aside from her history of having high SGPT. Molly was showing signs of pacing—she was swaying left and right. Her doctor added new medication, like a heart supplement, to our bill. The doctor said she might have heart problems if the liver results were good for now. Molly had been pooping water for a week and I thought of it as a good sign because her water retention reduced so perfectly. 

And now, I paid everything with small amounts of medication so that we wouldn’t run out of funds.

Okay, now here’s our frustration. Ugh!

If you’re going to ask me truthfully, I don’t care about every expense that was made—except for that fucking Doxycycline. I just realized that it was so wrong to oblige me to their fault, their mismanagement. It was already signed, and that was already the receipt. It wasn’t my fault if the doctor failed to calculate everything on that paper. I was so frustrated at myself that I didn’t realize this instantly. I could have defended myself against it. All I hear was insults at home.

Take note that it wasn’t the cashier doing the receipts—it was the doctors. After writing everything on paper, we were told to pay at the cashier, then handed the receipt over the counter. I told you, they were the ones pricing and adjusting their services and products.

For the first incident, okay—probably it was their first time or their first year in practice—but it wasn’t fair either. Not just because we are the owners, we should really expect responsibility for what we planned like adopting. Most abandoned pets are neglected due to vet pricing. You guys were totally expensive, and I feel sorry for poor souls who were just given up by their owners.

I know you deserve good pay from your respected careers, but in this very situation, we were unfortunate to be scheduled with you. I feel sad for less fortunate families who want to rescue strays or save their pets. It’s just so timely unfair. We’re on tight budget too.

For the third incident, I already said earlier that I don’t know—readers, please educate me on this. Was my father right in making the anti-rabies vaccine a priority over any other vaccine? Because I think he was. His friend kept asking if Molly was given a shot already, but it was always delayed due to her continuous medication.

I think I agree that the anti-rabies vaccine should be the first thing before the 8-in-1, because you see, this wasn’t about money at all. The other vaccines are essential too and could save us thousands of pesos and multiple medications that could harm her internal organs from too much medicine. I’m down with that. It’s even my expense, and not my father’s. So, if it weren’t for me, Molly wouldn’t have been given the 8-in-1 shot til now. I don’t know why they didn’t like it.

For the fourth incident, they could have helped their customers a little bit by reminding us of things beforehand. If it weren’t for the queue, I could have brought Molly quickly just to avoid the 600-peso emergency fee. They didn’t tell me.

And lastly for the fifth incident, I’m sorry, doctor—you just suspected her with heart disease. From my perspective, I would prefer a proper diagnosis before additional treatments. It seemed to me that more tests should have been done before giving extra medication. Even the CBC didn’t indicate the need for your additional medication for her. My brother refused to let me complete her heart supplement dosage. Well since I believed on them, I bought some for few days and yes, I only went back to complete her antibiotics.

Here’s my final opinion. Readers, I am just a simple person like you who doesn’t have any medical background. This is purely our side and opinions, so please no hate—we’re all willing to be corrected. I own the mistake; it was totally on me—the debt, the additional vaccine—and I wasn’t even earning anything at all.

This poor GSD happened to be hated by everyone because they were shocked about how to raise a high-energy dog for the first time. I took her as my own, like I was the owner on paper. I bathe her, I clean her ears, I feed her, I cure her wounds, we sometimes walk and I —ONLY THE ONE, who buy treats and toys for them. Our dogs, our lovable pets, and any other animals we care for—they don’t complain about their feelings to us unless it’s severe. We only see symptoms, so whatever the doctor says, of course, they’re knowledgeable in their chosen career. They’re licensed to do so; I really believed in them. I followed their advice.

But there were instances when your own intuition or senses could detect anomalies from your experience and situation. These doctors don’t rely on what they don’t know. Like us, we rely on CBC results or other tests before making judgments about what’s going on. We even realized our own sickness and our own way of healing. For Molly’s case, I finally figured out what was causing her water retention and high SGPT. It was her poor behavior and eating habits.

I noticed rice-shaped pieces in her poop. Without my cousin’s expertise—he is also a doctor—we wouldn’t have known all of this, (It was like great awakening). It’s a typical GSD behavior to eat excessively and play with their mouths. I know she had eaten insects before, which caused the white, rice-shaped worms—flatworms.

The bloating caused her high SGPT (liver). That was probably inflammation from being bloated or from the worms inside. And now, since the day we figured it out, we never went back for the same issue, and she never had diarrhea or water retention anymore.

To sum it all up, I just don’t like the way they could have helped us more instead of drilling us down, because these types of clinics are truly expensive.

Heading to a new vet clinic for her
 epileptic seizure as for second opinion.
Decided by my father.
Her repeatitive diarrhea had ended for a long time
before we went here. 

We changed to another vet clinic with someone more senior in his career. He told us, “Mahina nga apat na libo diyan,” and “Yung iba uuwi na walang gamot kasi test pa lang, ubos na.” His clinic is like a simple home—no air-conditioning unit and not really looking like a clinic at all. He didn’t summon us for a CBC before giving prescriptions. His consultation fee is only 300 pesos. His Doxycycline tablets were 10 pesos each, while the some clinic charged 25 pesos each.

The best thing that our previous vet have is free consultation; no wonder it’s a bit expensive. The doctors, staffs, rent, and etc. I am not totally against them—just please, can you help us a little bit? Would that be too demanding to ask for?

Veterinarians are really expensive because they are few and private. It’s still a profitable business, and if it’s not owned by a doctor, hiring is a challenging one.

Once again, I wasn’t planning to write this and had already turned down one dramatic Facebook post about them. If it weren’t for the blame and insults at home, I wouldn’t feel bad at all. It’s for Molly, and I want to take care of her, so I hastily decided without the consent of the true owner and payor—my father. Well, the next time they will have violent reactions on our next appointment, I'm done. "Sila naman next time ng may experience sila mag-analyze."

Writing this won’t change anything, but maybe it’s a call for the government to finally establish at least one public veterinary hospital. A voice for the voiceless who are under the care of animal shelters operated through donations. And a little help for irresponsible fur parents who refuse to take pets in, even a bit.

From my business and investment career, what I learned for every loss in a way was always a "Charge to Experience."

A call for everyone—please, let’s help one another. 

*Honestly, I want to write something and I want to keep on writing. This made me do it. Totally have given up on this but I just want to write. Don't want any harm but was totally a heck of an experience. We still went back to our old vet when Molly started new illness, an epileptic seizure. I realized that their lab test has a different company name. Could that be an additional expense?

Dear doctors, — still, thanks for your service.

If you see this story as potentially defamatory, I’d like to say it’s meant as feedback from a client’s perspective. I am not weak nor even naive so, don't blame me. 

Gambling advice

Gambling. Plain and simple, but how do you use the term gambling in your life?

There are things to consider when you're about to gamble something. It can be used in good situations like for fun or for investment. But when it comes to lifestyle, how does gambling can affect your life?

The first thing to consider is your gambling your "OWN MONEY". How pathetic of you if we are to include someone else's. Anyway, that isn't gambling, it's stealing. 😉

Entertainment plays such as Casinos, Bingos, Peryehan, or even this intraining-Kiddie-future-sugarols Amusement is part of the Economy, but inevitable temptation that can hurt you. You can't simply avoid having fun, enjoying a little while and probably, aiming for great luck to win big. In my discipline, these are my views in budgeting our money.

Always make up your mind on how much you'll be spending especially in Casinos. If you lose, it's fine, just enjoy the party, have free unlimited drinks, and feel like you just spend your weekend night out in a bar. You'll probably won't be spending thousands, right?!

For family or amusement games, you're totally spending your money just to have fun and to play a game. Do not expect your tickets will be as same value as your money being spent. You'll get hurt once you start computing. But here in Timezone, prizes are way too expensive for Divisoria valued items. We can convert it into Meal vouchers and have it outside instead. We had fun, made memories, enhanced our critical strategic abilities (gamers know) and were delighted with dinner.

And please the crucial part. Stop when you're getting frustrated. The more you're losing, the more you're being challenged into winning. It will drain "your hard earned money" (not someone's like parents, sugar daddys or investors.🤣) Remember, energy attracts same energy you already exert.

So Play well. Have fun. Enjoy life. Win more by being wise in handling your finances. 😉

#casino #financialliteracy #gambling #MoneyWise #financialfreedom #finance #financialplanning #budgetfriendly #audit #budgeting #budgetingtips

Them Yachting!

My oh my! I was writing this on October 21, 2025. It’s been seven years since this unforgettable day of my life. Yes, it was—and it still lingers in me. Two weeks ago, I began retrieving some photos that I can still post here. I was planning to write this too, just as I had written the UNIFIED PRODUCTS AND SERVICES CAR CLUB 2018 that same year.

Last summer of 2024, I once again witnessed the quiet elegance of Subic. It was clean, it was neat, it was dry, it was uplifting, and ethereal—quite isolated, probably due to the fact that it was heavily affected by the pandemic in 2020. It was spacious back in 2018, and it’s even more tranquil now. It saddens me that most of the shops are closed, especially the popular places for shoes. I remember we had stopped for Mentor Mike to check some shoes. Now on fam vacay, we had coffee at Xtremely Xpresso, and I uploaded our coffee moment. I wished to have coffee at the café of Subic Yacht Club, where we waited for them yachting, because we were not top earners. But we had a dog, so it was a better idea to explore a new place—and Xtremely Xpresso was the kind of café everyone would love. I felt bad for the hotpot restaurant nearby; I didn’t see a single customer dine there when we were around. We truly need a credible leader who embodies leadership, ay!

https://carmnescence.blogspot.com/2018/11/unified-products-services-car-club-2018.html

Back in 2018, after finishing the car club blog, I was planning to write about the next day’s event—it was the yacht exclusive for top earners. Somebody told me, “Di na, di ka naman kasama sa yate.” Okay, I just posted it on Facebook. Some of it is gone and was removed by me because of my anxiety, frustration, and sorrow over what went wrong with me during 2019.

So after that day, October 22, 2018, everyone made their own way home. Some teams joined together, stayed, and swam at nearby resorts—possibly somewhere in Bataan. But for us, with our core leader Sir Christian Casoyla, we really didn’t know where to go. We were sitting in the parking lot of Ocean Adventure. Sir Benjoe was inviting us to join them in their car, but my bag was left in President Manny’s Range Rover. I was riding with the top 3—I didn’t even know them. Sir Christian was with Sir Eric, and Grand Upline Careen Torregosa was with Sir Josh Abonales in her BMW Z4. She didn’t want to drive alone in Metro Manila and she’s from Cebu. I told Sir Christian that my bag was left in the car. Ma’am Angeline told me they were heading to the parking lot of Camayan Beach Resort. Some people, I think, were UPS staff walking around. I didn’t know where to go. We were told to go around—they were neighbors.

You see, there were only four Eagles in this event. The other one—one of my uplines who always assisted me since we lived nearby—joined the other team going to Bataan. She was riding with them. How did we get separated? It was planned that I would join Sir Benjoe’s Montero, but Ma’am Careen insisted on getting my things and going back to the Apartelle. We didn’t even plan to join this event. We didn’t have shirts with the car club logo on them. We didn’t pay anything until the Grand Upline came from Cebu and asked her people in Eagles Manila to be with her. If it weren’t for her, she would have been the only one in her entire team. Sir Christian was immediately booked to go to Manila, and he arrived around midnight—I don’t quite remember. I went home to grab some clothes. One of the leaked reminders said to bring an extra white outfit, and I did.

 

 ...

I deleted our room photos. I don’t have them… forever. Yeah, that’s right. Karma is on me for being too slow to learn and too egoistic to understand everything. I deserved it. XDD

...

Our upline had to book an additional room at her own expense. We were three. She was obviously paid by the management for her slot as Top 5 that year. Then came dinner with the top earners later that night. I really didn’t want to go—it’s because I shouldn’t have even been there. The pressure was too much. It was at Cabalen, a buffet restaurant. One of our Grand Uplines, Sir Jeff, said something to me: “Ibaaaa.” I was embarrassed and, at the same time, thankful that he accepted me for being there. No hate, no ego, and no side comments. But truly, there were people who didn’t like me being there—I knew. One of them told me, and I understood their language. I didn’t have a choice. I was prepared to be starved! I thought I could just use some in-room amenities. Like, really, am I that penniless? Of course, I had a wallet. I didn’t have a chance to roam around the hotel; therefore, I didn’t know the menu.

I have that one photo on the table, but here’s a video that I’ve saved for years—one of my treasures. I didn’t delete it. (Please, if you happen to see this, Ma’am Careen and Sir Christian, don’t ask me to take it down. But if you insist, I respect that and I don’t have a choice. 😭) In that video, I had to swallow my pride for our team. I’m too introverted and awkward in socializing, but I’m grateful for the growth it gave me. You might think it was just a simple thing to do—no! I’m a weird, shy, and quiet type of student back in school. I even hated recitations. I didn’t know how to communicate well. Being with the Unified Products and Services team changed my life and allowed me to unlock things I never thought I could be.

Some of the top earner's swam and some had a bottle of beer. We'd rather sleep. It was Monday night and the bar was so lit. I wonder why the resort was that alive with other guests everywhere. 

Good morning—it’s time for their yacht event!

Courtesy of Vina Mae Sepacio, one of the builders who helped and molded me. Some of the photos were previously shared and uploaded. It wasn’t even a new thing in our world—it’s a copy-upline and sharing business. We really do borrow and use our crossline’s marketing creations. Even photos are considered a tee-up. Please, Ms. Vina, allow me as well. 😘

I didn’t even get the chance to swim, not even at the beach — I really needed it for my health.

Breakfast buffet, courtesy of our dearest Grand Upline — and I enjoyed it heartily! (Not covered by the management.)

Thank you Ma'am Careen. You still have this photo. Keeping it.

Outside, everyone was checking out. They had to hurriedly take photos before running off for the yacht schedule. I was just sitting there in my white polo shirt. Why did it have to be white? Who on earth started that memo? 😅

When everyone was already in the car, the guard held us up because some rooms were still being checked. “Huwag mo munang palabasin yung mga luxury cars,” he said. 😂

Mentor Mike joked, “Luxury na sa kanila yun?” 😆

Well, congratulations — it’s convincing!

Kuya Guard, wanna join us? It’s only ₱15k for one franchise.

As for a simple person like me, I’d say having any car at all is already a luxury.

One thousand pesos for a missing air-conditioning remote control! Obviously, it was just misplaced. But hey — that could’ve been good fuel, noh?! 😅

That photo went too impactful on me when I got home. It was posted immediately. "On the way to Unified Yacht Party." Everyone is congratulating me because, I was included in their party. No — I was not.

We were on the other side, about to cross the road, all lined up together. They were talking about how strict the traffic rules in Subic are — as strict as in Dubai, Ma’am Tulod said. It was like more than what 15 or 20 minutes already, I don't know, I am that exaggerated. It was mentioned that you shouldn’t make a U-turn or cross the road if there’s even a car visible in the inner lane, no matter how far. I thought to myself, “Ganito ba talaga dito? Ang layo pa nung sasalubong” Those cars were minutes away before they can even reached us.

Now what! Everyone had to line up — every action, every move was being captured by the videographers.

Ahh! We finally have a place to stay. This is the café where we were supposed to hang out during our 2024 summer. I tried searching for it before going inside, but unfortunately, I couldn’t find the café’s name — I’m not even sure if it’s still there after six years. But since we have our dog, Mickey, we didn’t get the chance to go in and look around because we weren’t sure if pets were allowed.

It wasn’t just an ordinary coffee talk — it was a learning moment. Sir Christian was teaching me how to use the O.N.E. presentation using the back of a flyer. I really liked this café. They offered refillable coffee for only ₱1.00! That’s why I wanted to visit again. Back with my fam, we needed a place to kill time because our cars were coding if we were to reached Quezon City. Xtremely Xpresso is what they've researched and yes, I even uploaded it on my YouTube Channel. 

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Ahhh, such serenity… why didn’t I step onto those wooden docks when I had the chance?

...

After them yachting, the video shoot continued — top earners giving speeches with their luxury cars.

After that, they had merienda dinner at Chowking. Why every stop we have to eat? I don’t have a picture of it, but I remember. Everyone was heading home afterward. The top earners who lived in Laguna had to stay overnight in Subic because it would be a long journey. I was riding with Mentor Mike and Sir Christian Casoyla as we headed home. We had to stop for coffee because he was caught drowsy. Sir Christian gave ₱200—the green paper—but Mentor refused; it was on him. I forgot to return the money, Sir, but if you happen to read this, I’ll be happy to send it back via GCash. Sorry.

And of course, wherever we go, it’s always a meeting, mentoring, and mind-setting. Entrepreneurs have endless talks about business. He taught something, but I’ve forgotten it. There was something like “Z4, money/ATM boutique.” Oh, I remember—it was about posting yourself on social media. Oh look, the 8. Political. Yes! That’s where I started getting lost. My last post about Unified was around the summer of 2022 — Yes, I was wrong. Now, while trying to stay awake, one of us had to keep talking to him. To help with wakefulness, we ate the chocolate that Ma’am Farrah had given them. It really helped a lot.

Heading back somewhere, our GrandUpline joined us for a late dinner at Kowloon House, West Avenue, Quezon City. Mentor Mike has the photo of the four of us, but he never posted it, so I never got a copy. As we were about to go back to the Apartelle, inside the car, Ma’am Careen said, “Baliw na si Carmina.” Then Mentor Mike added, “Baliw na talaga ’yan.” It wasn't even sinking into my subconscious mind pa. They booked the first available room for eight people, even though there were only two of them. Truly, when you have money, you don’t even care.

I had to go home and prepare a solid O.N.E. presentation to deliver in front of them. They had to revalidate my speakership, which I failed to do the next day due to fatigue. I woke up at 4 a.m. for it. But, I still did it in some other time as my friends had already heard it in several of my previous speeches. Thank you so much for helping me.

....

This special event, exclusively for them, was even more meaningful and impactful to me. The unforgettable fun I witnessed was said to be too baseless for me to post about. That I shouldn’t even be here in the first place. That I wasn’t included. That I was nobody. I wasn’t a top earner. I didn’t deserve to witness their success. The GrandUpline shouldn’t have allowed their downline to be here—it was a reward meant for those who had sacrificed for their winnings, a goal that must be targeted and patiently earned. Suffering before celebrating.

Though I was part of it, I couldn’t help but ask myself—why am I even there?

It’s my own destiny. I was aligned to be there—my own spiritual journey. For whatever reason it may be, this is the initial realization I’ve had so far. It was seven years ago. People may go against what I’m about to share, but note that this is for my own good. I’ve gained wisdom from it, and therefore, it’s my story. Not your learning. Not your time. Not your experience. Not your discovery. NOT YOURS.

Hold your ego, irrational mind. I know. I probably missing a lots of things that you have experienced but, but, I haven't started it yet.

We all have different stories to tell. Each experience is unique, even when you’re with people who share the same mission. In this expedition, it’s incomparable to all the builders from the start. Each of us has our own weaknesses to fight, past traumas to deal with, and hidden qualities to discover—ones that are unique only to us.

In my experience, I started this journey full of drama, challenges, arguments, hatred, pride, and negativity—a mixture of their indecent, ill-mannered, and uneducated ways combined with my own egoistic point of view. It was hard. It was heavy. It was draining.

A new door I had hoped would lead to a better life—an escape from an endless loop. Lost in track, lost in cycle, until I was completely lost.

It began back in college. I didn’t know which course to choose. At first, it was Biochemistry, but I had allergies. Then came Microbiology, but I wasn’t sure. Next was Business Administration, but my father interfered, saying it was only good for someone who had a family business. Then came HRM, and he said, “Mas sosyal ang Tourism.” I don’t even know why I agreed to that.

The course I didn’t understand felt boring. I think he wanted me to act more like a lady because I was too rough and boyish—or probably because it had more expenses for culinary classes. So, I just tried to graduate without failures. Good enough.

I had two training experiences: one in a travel agency and one in a hotel, both of which I hated. They didn’t align with me at all. Then I tried working in a BPO twice, and both times ended in failure. And that, for sure, made my career life miserable.

I told myself I would never go back to any formal employment. I even placed my last resignation letter on the first page of my clear book—it’s my UPS file. Since the summer of 2022, the very last time I posted about my business, I haven’t bounced back to the self I once knew—decisive and adventurous.

Every job application I took ended in failure. It’s been seven years of bankruptcy. I’m so drained in this current state that I feel like I’m vibrating. It’s too suffocating. Too frustrating. I can’t even see a clear path ahead.

Of course, I did try with two other companies, but one turned out disastrous—harassment, lawlessness, nauseating. I was only there to support a friend. I was right from the very start: I’m so done with MLM.

As I continued to get lost in my own limbo, I fell deeper within. I’ve achieved another awakening, but the spiritual journey is a long and continuous process. You still have to keep on learning. It was way too deep and complicated if I go through it with my wisdom, but I will focus on my MLM journey.

... 

"There is nothing more disorienting and depressing than to see the years pass by without a sense of direction, grasping to reach goals that keep changing, and squandering our youthful energies." - Robert Greene

... 

I've mingle with crosslines to seek comfort, support and escape. I've been with a mentor to mentor who can help us single lonely builders to establish our own organization. We form as a group. We were too different from each other. Different line. Different team's system. Different agenda. Different strategy. As a slow learner like me, this is not a good idea. I wished to change the line and team. Even let my best friend sign the contract of TOA "Transfer of Account" and hope for a lesser baggage to work on my new line. Then the time came. It happened in a snap when MAY 2022 election came. I was so high and so conceited to believe in "YOU ARE THE COMPANY YOU KEEP. BIRDS OF A FEATHER, FLOCK TOGETHER. YOUR CHOICE DEFINES YOUR VALUE." So, I hated people who are too stupid to choose a politician. There's too many of them. THE EGO BLEW ME AWAY FROM WHERE I SHOULD BE. Slowly changing to a new company. If you can see on our last mentoring session, "8. POLITICS." This is about what not and should post on social media. Great! I've destroyed my persistency. I've planted so much and I abandoned everything. Abandoned so, I rested. But I never quit.

Now up to this point. The more you are seeking the way of alignment, the more you are seeking yourself. I am getting the point now. What's my limbo anyway? I don't know what to do anymore. I'm at home doing nothing and waiting for the miracle. I've tried several money-making schemes but it won't work. Vlogging, freelancing, baking, anything just to avoid employment. I even passed the Civil Service Exam Professional to obtain a higher chance of acceptance. But I was not getting any chance and happiness from it. I still can't see a clear pathway towards employment. Til I remembered the word SURRENDER. That's the moment I understood everything. Realized this on SEPTEMBER 2025.

You see, I was in the right place all along. There's a reason why I'm even there in the first place. The line, the team, the company, the situation, and the troubles. If I only surrendered to the divine alignment that was given to me—regardless of the negativities around. You were at the right exact moment if you just fully surrendered and went with the flow of the Universe. What I did is to go AGAINST it. Look at them. My team stayed for years and grew. My crosslines in UPS are now top earners. They didn’t change the team. They didn’t change the company. They fought for it. Probably, that one full day of exclusiveness was right for me to witness and feel the serene achievement if I’d only stayed. I am destined to be here.

To others who are against me, let me remind you that this is my life’s journey—my own perspectives that link to all my past, my knowledge, my experience, my judgment, my discernment, and my life. If you think I’m wrong, it’s just because we are not the same. Do you love reading books? I do. Have you gone to the places where I’ve been? Possibly not. Do we share the same hobbies? Absolutely not. You don’t even write. It’s basic. So stop comparing your timeline to mine. You know that.

But if you think deciding on a new path is for you, then you probably need a new level. I haven’t even started yet. I don’t have the right to expect better when I never started all of these from the basics. So why would I look at some other places? This place was given to me because my soul needed it. I prayed and asked for the right guidance because I didn’t want to go back to employment. This industry is the best place for aspiring entrepreneurs. It provides free learning not just in doing business but in character development as well. Some stayed and made it. Why should I doubt it?

No wonder. The effect of Yacht Day is still haunting me. That very day was for me too, no matter how they got so envious, resented, and maliciously defamed me. It was aligned for me. It just happened, so it’s destiny. Back in 2020, I told someone about this—that I felt like I was missing Subic. He thought I was missing someone—what a laughing stock! The energy of that day was so unstoppable that it made me realize the success of trusting whatever the Universe gave you. “Pinaramdam na sayo yung dulo. Pinakita na sayo yung gusto mo.” I AM BELONG. I AM DESTINED. It just happened. It’s a test too—would you be humble enough to start all the way from the beginning to reach the end? To reach them Yachting with actual results?

It was ethereal. The same-minded people were there. Everybody had made it through. Everyone talked about mission and success. I felt their energy like I belonged, even WITHOUT A SINGLE DOWNLINE. “Wala pa akong downline niyan!” The Universe was too strong, way too powerful, to give this sign. That’s the only thing I’ve decoded so far. No wonder, right now I am nothing. I am still nothing—but I deserve it.

Still, I am forever grateful for FREE TRAVEL INCENTIVES, like I didn't have to force myself to pay huge just to hit the quota, like no matter how many times I refuses, like I didn't even plan to get there, because "All is meant to be" — it's truly unexpected. A wonder of true destiny. A gift to my soul for being ethical and morally right. "Yung hindi pinilit magkaresulta."

Wisdom and consciousness are the ultimate gifts you can ask for in a lifetime. They will help you in everything. I didn’t know it yet—until several years passed by. It wasn’t injecting into my subconscious mind pa. The hotel and yacht thing were average to me, but doing them when you truly deserve it? Hits different. Well then, Careen was right—nabaliw talaga ako.

"How will I know if I have surrendered? When you no longer need to ask a question. - Echkart Tolle 

"When we are no longer able to change the situation, we are challenged to change ourselves." - Victor Frankl

Just like what happened—I didn't move my feet away from the shore. I didn't get a chance to swim. 

P.S. To all my friends, uplines, and crosslines whom I unfriended or blocked (not the alleged criminals) — my mind was messed up. I apologize. I didn’t want to do it, but seeing all of you doing this business gave me mixed emotions and anxiety. It was my fault; I’m still learning. I hope you understand, even if it seems like you didn’t care. This is just my way of relieving what I needed to say.

UPDATE AS OF 08/11/2026. OUR FAMILY'S  LUXURIOUS TRAVEL IN SUBIC!

Civil Service Professional Journey

"Isang beses kalang naman papasa." Yup, I wasn't looking for any validation from this nor expecting a praise. It's part of my journal and my social media. Like why should I even have to explain. (Kinontra kasi ako bakit ko daw need ipost eh pakielam ko. It's better to see great things instead of drama on fb.)

Not even planning na to post din, but I felt their vibes of passing. It's a month of various LICENSURE results. So many nakapasa. Nakakatuwa kasi yung feeling na nakita mo yung lists. So I made a collage out of it. Just to mesmerize those moments: I saw and felt seeing those very pictures when I was checking them online.

I've already made a 1st draft of the story and it wasn't nice; so I lost the enthusiasm of sharing it. I had a bad experience in ¢$€ office. Already filed a complaint and forgave the employee who suspected me na assumera. Hahahaha "Paano ka nagka-appoinment? So, inassume mong pasado kana?" WTF 😂 We all make mistakes maybe they have forgotten that the results are out on every 2 months after the exam. In addition to their anomalies, (3x 💸) I told them that "Gayahin ninyo Lto and Nbi na may camera na sa loob, sayang pera namin." For 90 pesos rush id nyo and 1 pic lang need. 500pesos exam x 300k applicants twice a year. One camera per office, wala!? To cut the negativity short, I'm grateful for hearing my complaint about it. Thanks Director. 😚

Anyway, I should have been grateful and let it go right?! Nah. I worked hard for it, so I've earned it. If there's a hole in a system that needs improvement, well I am happy to use your survey. 😁

Congratulations to all passers. I may not be part of you, because the value of the board and the bar are heavier and worthy than I've got. But who knows what's next to our journey. Like 10 or 20 years from now we could be a licensed broker or an Attorney. I was forced to take the exam for 10 years and I just recently applied for it.

The future is still a mystery.

My tips and techniques I've done:

1. Review, practice and repeat. Mastery is the key.

2. Read any reading materials: magazine, online articles, blogs, news, novels just to boost your reading comprehension and broaden your vocabulary. 

3. Watch British films or tv series, especially the classic or historical. They have better and easier in understanding English because they're slow. Unlike American, they always eat up their words. I recommend Harry Potter, The Downton Abbey and The Tudors.

4. Make your own review notes. Copy, write, solve and questions or new words you see in a notebook. Make an album of screenshots too, but writing is even better for it implants down to subconscious mind.

5. No time or on the go? Download review articles, documents and Civil Service Reviewer  App on Google Playstore.

6. Watch YouTube for more visualize way of solving a problem.

7. Enroll in any review center. They have tips and ways for specific exams. Some questions have been repeated many times and some have a record of it.

8. Believe in whatever luck you can. I wear a red panty, I drink Cobra smart during the exam and ate chocolate for boosting my mind, I brought my chakra stones and use the Law of Attraction.

9. Follow what's best and easy for your preparation. I took a bath before sleeping and gave me relaxation. I didn't review the day before the exam and I'd enjoyed my day in the nature. 

10. Obedience is another way of success. I wore white shirt as an examinee and I used a transparent Adventure envelope as my bag. ( I know I can use this for my documents and I don't need another bag, knowingly it's not comfortable to display your stuffs out in the public.) This is powerful in aligning your energy to what's asking. Give and take. 

11. I bought books: 2 Civil Service Reviewers and a National Police Board Exam Reviewer. This will help you see the coverage of the exam. One of the best way is to know what the questions and what is it like to choose the best answers from it. 

12. Use the Power of Philosophy, Spirituality, Psychology hacks or Neurosciences. Like what I said, I drank Cobra Smart and ate chocolate. I play Brain Power Mozart or any classical brain musics during reviewing and reading. There're lots of smart hacks you can find and it's efficient.

13. Of course, follow and listen to the tips and journey of the multiple tries examinee and the passers. They can give you lots of shortcuts.

13. Always try the mock exams and aim to "WIN" the 1-minute-per-question rule. This will help you answer most of the questions. Do not stay on one question just to get the “best” answer—especially in math problems. Do not solve using long methods; that is not how the exam works. There are many shortcuts designed to save time.

Some questions are easy and can be overlooked, causing you to lose bonus points that could be the miracle points you need to reach the cut-off score. Remember, 79.9% is still a failure.

My visionboard as a wallpaper.

Lastly, use this deep understanding of Law of Attraction—or more precisely, the Law of Alignment. The best way to attract something you truly desire is by aligning it with your current state. Do not say, “I wish to pass,” or “I will pass the exam.” Instead, say, “I am a passer. I have already passed the exam.”

When you manifest using words that imply you do not yet possess what you want, you attract lack instead. This reflects desperate energy, which is a negative vibration. Emit the right energy by intuitively feeling that you have already won.

For more effective results, try creating a vision board, where you can see your manifested dream every day.

The purpose of Transparent Bag for Civil Service Examination.  👇👇👇

https://carmnescence.blogspot.com/2025/10/Civil-service-transparent-bag.html

From story archived.
My outfit for August 11, 2024 CSE Exam.

Civil Service Transparent Bag Purpose

Knowledge upgrade is just secondary when you failed in character development.

A not so totally budget saving tip because is not necessary, it's not even mandatory but for sure it's beneficial.

A technical way of saving money with a profound understanding of how it works. But in this post, to be specific, what’s with the bag?! 😂

You see, it’s one of the Civil Service requirements that must be followed when taking the exam. It says to use a ballpen and wear a white top while carrying a transparent bag. Few people actually followed this, and I was one of them.

A week before the exam, I started searching for anything “see-through.” Even a net wet-market tote bag would have been fine with me. But I told myself, “For sure, I’m only going to use this once,” because I wanted privacy for my stuff.

So, I searched online for something cheaper because I found one in the market at quite a price. And then I found a cute and cheap one—less than a hundred pesos, including the shipping fee. (Mahiya naman tayo na libre pa shipping niyan. 😂)

I almost bought this ₱25 Prima Donna transparent tote bag, but then it came to my mind: “This is only for once, and we already have so many eco-bags at home. This will definitely just end up in a collection, waiting to be torn out.”

So I refused to buy it, but I was still eager to have at least ONE.

There should be one somewhere. Perhaps, just around the corner.

I even imagined using a large Tupperware container. (Yung gift grocery na Tupperware! Hahaha! 😂)

The Universe is extremely generous. It always gives you what you want and what you need.

I asked my mother to look through her things for at least a small, old, or anything that could work. And she found THE ONE. 😂 The only one we found after a week of searching.

It was a plastic envelope—a protective document holder for X-rays—which was even better because it was really big! We even considered an Adventure plastic envelope for documents from a bookstore as another option.

As you can see, my shoes, tumbler, and umbrella could all fit inside. I handled it with extreme care because it wasn’t technically a bag—it was only meant for light papers. Still, it was manageable for the few hours I needed it.

And, of course, I still brought an eco-bag with me for after the exam. 😄

From story archived.
My outfit for August 11, 2024 CSE Exam.

So, what’s the tip? Why such an eagerness? It’s about alignment. And hey, wait! It’s not a joke, nor is it a weird thing. It’s a profound understanding of the Law of Attraction.

I know they have said that it’s not mandatory; it’s just encouraged. The Law of Attraction simply means aligning yourself with the same energy as whatever you want to achieve.

For example, if you want to pass an exam, instead of praying, “I hope I will pass the exam,” you should say, “I claim it. I have already passed the exam. I am eligible. I am a passer. I am confident and smart. I am one of those on the list.”

Saying “I will” implies that you don’t have it yet, so you’re not aligning yourself with the energy of something that has already manifested.

It’s a budget-saver to buy a ₱25 tote bag just to follow the alignment rules, even though you don’t have to spend anything at all. When achieving something, you really need to take risks or invest in things like paper and pens for reviewing, right? I didn’t say you have to buy an expensive or fashionable one.

It’s a matter of respecting the rules, allowing yourself to be humbled by what they believe is best for everyone, and perhaps, it’s also a test of whether you’re becoming an eligible public servant. (Oh, this is crucial. 😯)

Our bags were being sent in front, so what’s the need for transparency? An explanation doesn’t always have to be technical.

Hmm 🤔 I think it’s part of Republic Act No. 6713, which states:

“Public officials and employees shall always uphold the public interest over and above personal interest. All government resources and powers of their respective offices must be employed and used efficiently, effectively, honestly, and economically, particularly to avoid wastage in public funds and revenues.”

See? Want to hold a high position in public office? Transparency is essential. From the very beginning, you should allow yourself to become comfortable with it.

Are you willing to be entrusted with public funds? I aligned myself with that principle by being economical in the first place.

I said twice earlier that I was going to use this only once. Yes, I did say that because I manifested that I would pass the exam on my first and final take. Buying one with the mindset of “I can use this again if I retake” is a sign that you’re not confident that you’ve already manifested passing it. 😉I am a 1st taker and in good lord, I claim it. Are you gonna be the country's next generation of public leaders who will fulfill a clean track record? Like no signs of Corruption? Plunder? Graft? Extortion? Bribery? Yes passers, we are like that.

UPDATED: Already passed. Actual tips, guides and techniques is provided on the next blogpost.

Click the link.

Civil Service Professional Journey

https://carmnescence.blogspot.com/2025/10/civil-service-professional.html

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